Key takeaways
- 2 million millennials are currently caring for aging parents or other aging loved ones.
- Having a family meeting with parents, in-laws, or grandparents to discuss their estates and other wishes before they need help is very important.
- Communication and understanding in this area will go a long way toward reducing the chances of arguments and hurt feelings later on.
This past weekend my wife and I held a family meeting. You may wonder what that’s all about and why I’m sharing it with you. It basically focused on the estate plan that my wife and I have for our children. We’re naming them as trustees, executors, and agents for our power of attorney. These things are very important for end of life considerations.
I’m certainly not planning on leaving this life any time soon, but feel it’s a good idea to communicate about our estate plan early on. Having a family meeting was the best way to pass along the details involved and discuss any questions or concerns.
The AARP Public Policy Institute released a study in March 2018, which found that 6.2 million millennials are caring for their aging parents, in-laws, or grandparents. The time is approaching where you may find yourself taking care of your parents or grandparents. It’s very important to have a clear understanding of what they want when the time comes and if no one is discussing this, you won’t be quite sure what to do.
I speak from experience, having dealt with these issues with my own parents and in-laws. It’s crucial that you understand where they’re coming from — that they’ve communicated how they want to live their final years, whenever that happens. Then you can help them make arrangements so things are the way they want them; not the way you or anyone else wants them. And, you certainly don’t want to try to guess at it. Trying to guess what they’d want and then trying to impose that vision upon them can lead to a lot of arguments.
Waiting until your parents or other aging loved ones actually need certain types of care isn’t a good idea. It could leave you and your siblings to try and hash out who’s doing what and the discord can get very bad. You don’t want to end up with your parents in a courtroom for a living probate naming you as guardian because there’s a fight over it. And that’s only one example of the many things that can go wrong.
People don’t like to talk about death, so it might be tough as an adult child or grandchild to sit down with your parents, in-laws, or grandparents and discuss their estates and their wishes for living out the final years of life. It’s tough, but extremely important to do it. The key to a smooth transition and peace in the family is communication. Many times people have asked me what’s the most important thing for a happy marriage, successful business, and lots of other things. My answer is always communication.
We had our family meeting this past weekend to do just that — communicate. We wanted to make sure our heirs — our children — truly understand what we’re all about and how we want to live when, at some point in the future, we need their help. Consider holding a family meeting with your aging loved ones, so you can better understand their wishes and will know what to do when the time comes. Until next time, enjoy!
Gary