How to be Emotionally Resilient

Key Takeaways

  • As humans, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where our emotions run wild and stress gets the better of us.
  • Brad Waters wrote the article, “10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People,” which examines why some people are better equipped than others to handle difficulties in life.
  • By adopting some of these traits, we may be able to improve our own lives.

We’ve all had times where we’ve found ourselves overwhelmed by stress, uncertainty, and difficulties in life, and the current pandemic that’s been unfolding these past several months is no exception. During these times, our emotions tend to run wild and we lose our control over them. It’s not a good feeling and we tend to want to minimize the amount of time we experience this. So how do we bounce back from adversity and regain control of our emotions?

There’s a 2013 Psychology Today article by Brad Waters, 10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People that addresses this question. We’ll examine the first five traits here.

Number one, emotionally resilient people know their boundaries and regulate their emotions within those boundaries. They possess a clear understanding of who they are and they recognize that adversity is temporary and not something to define them. They know the difference between their identity and external forces that don’t apply to them. It’s a way of framing your viewpoint to avoid getting caught up in the emotion of everything around you.

Number two, they keep good company. Resilient people tend to surround themselves with supportive and resilient people, avoiding people who are caustic and discouraging. This is really important, as the company you keep has an effect on your viewpoint of yourself in the world. And though we’re experiencing a time of social distancing, it’s crucial that we continue to connect with that support system of friends and family, via video conferencing, phone calls, texts, and the like.

Number three, they cultivate self-awareness. This can be a difficult one to achieve, but it’s important to work on. By possessing self-awareness, resilient people pick up on the subtle cues their moods and bodies are sending them, letting them know when they need help. For those who lack an awareness of their emotions, sudden changes in their environments may lead to huge swings in emotion because they weren’t paying attention to the cues along the way.

Number four, they practice acceptance. Resilient people understand that pain and stress are part of life. They’re able to come to terms with this, trusting that after they’ve gone through a difficulty in life, things will get better over time.

Number five, they are willing to sit in the space of silence without judgment. This is about mindfulness and clearing one’s head of distractions, not taking the bait of passing judgment on everything we see and hear. It’s a tough thing to do in today’s digital age, with information and opinions coming at us from so many different sources. We’ve become used to the distractions and may find ourselves avoiding the silence, but it can be incredibly healing to embrace it. Many of us have been forced to slow down during these times; try viewing this as a positive, as a chance to simply breathe and relax, not having to rush from one thing to the next.

The article goes on to list five additional traits:

    • They don’t have to have all the answers.
    • They have a menu of self-care habits.
    • They enlist their team.
    • They consider the possibilities.
    • They get out of their head.

You can read more about the 10 traits and view the full article in the link above. These traits are definitely something to give some consideration to when you’re going through a difficult time or just trying to make your life a little better than it currently is. Until next time, enjoy.

Gary has provided wealth management services to clients for over 30 years. He is credentialed in financial services with practical experience in all areas of finances and money. He is the author of Changing the Conversation, Wealth of Everything, and co-author of The Business Battlefield.

He is genuinely interested in getting to know the person in front of him. Who are they? What’s most important to them? Where do they want to go in life? Whether he’s advising clients, mentoring his team, or coaching entrepreneurs, Gary is always simplifying complexity and motivating others to take the next action that’s right for them.

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